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only just a dream
Sometimes, Hazama Rei dreams of killing Hinata Hajime with her own two hands.
It's not a pleasant dream, but whenever it happens, she wakes up in a cold snap, crying. The tears would just stream down her face for minutes, sometimes hours, and nobody would be able to hear the wailing from the sound proof rooms. The sounds would be hers to hear alone before she stops and reminds herself that it was just a dream. A figment of her imagination that could not possibly be real in the slightest.
When she exits her room, it's after she's wiped the tears that have fallen. She can't possibly allow anybody to see her cry. Especially not for such a trivial reason.
The first person she sees when she's out is Hinata himself, wearing his usual plain white shirt and tie. She gently smiles at him as she raises her hand to wave at him. Her life on the island has definitely been different than back at home, and while both of their worlds are a mess in more ways than one, they both know that things will eventually be fine, just as long as they believe in the future.
"Good morning," her words are as gentle as the smile on her face as she greets him.
"Morning," is the greeting that she gets in return as he surprises her by ducking downwards and quickly kissing her forehead. It's a gesture that Rei should be used to at this point, and yet her violet eyes can't help but widen in what seems to be genunine surprise as her cheeks color a bright red. But before she can say anything, he follows up by asking, "Hey, since you're up already, did you want to... maybe, cook breakfast together?"
On the island, they are currently the only two people outside of the program who can actually cook something decent. Rei because of how long she's lived alone and Hinata because of his own skill; skill that honestly isn't natural for him, but it's something he can do. He's not exactly proud of that skill - it reminds him sometimes that he used to be Kamukura Izuru rather than Hinata Hajime - and it scares him right down to his very core. The possibility that he might turn back sends a shudder down his spine, no matter how many times he tries to reassure himself.
The idea of cooking together with him is tempting; they usually took shifts when it came to cooking, but it came to her as a surprise when he had asked that he asked her to work with him. She didn't mind, naturally, as her lips tugged into an even brighter, somewhat forced smile.
"Sure."
Of course, they were both up at a ridiculously early time, so they wouldn't run into any of his other classmates. . .probably. At the very least, they wanted to avoid Kuzuryuu at all costs. For various reasons. Placing her hand in his own, the two of them made their way towards the restaurant. Unlike the Neo World Program, which had their food automatically given to them, they actually had to do all of the cooking on their own, no exceptions.
It was fine, though.
During preparations, Rei found herself spacing out a little as she idly spun the whisk around the bowl almost absentmindedly, completely quiet and spacey before the sound of a familiar voice next to her causes her to jerk back in surprise, the bowl nearly turning over to spill its contents before Hinata catches it, heaving a sigh of relief.
"Rei...are you alright?" Concern filled his expression as he looked at her. "You reminded me of Nanami for a second there."
Rei's answer didn't come immediately, deep in thought as she replied with, "Ah, well--" But she couldn't finish her sentence, a frisson of disconnect cutting off her voice in sudden realization. She knew that if she denied it, she'd be a liar. And a liar was the thing that she didn't want to become. After all, liars were the ones she despised the most. Yet, strangely enough, she felt like telling a lie to him. It was a little white lie, but it was one nevertheless; if she did that, she wouldn't be able to properly forgive herself. "I will be."
"Are you sure?" Brows arched curiously from Hinata's end as he placed the bowl back on the table, placing his hand on her forehead to check and see if she was sick. But she seemed to be fine, with the exception that her face was turning a beet red and he knew exactly the reason why.
Biting on her lower lip anxiously, Rei knitted her brows, fingers gripping onto her skirt with anxiety, slightly shaky.
"Rei...?"
She didn't say anything.
"Rei?"
His words didn't reach her and the only thing that filled the small hypnotist's eyes was clear and utter despair.
"Oi, Rei-!"
He called out to her, grabbing onto her hands in an attempt to comfort her. But instead of doing that, she just snapped away from him, her hand jerking away from him as she snapped, "Don't touch me!"
And that's when Hinata's eyes widened in obvious fear, something that Rei immediately noticed as she flinched slightly, looking somewhat guilty as her gaze lowered.
"Sorry," she apologized, "I just had a bad dream last night and couldn't stop thinking about it."
She decided to sleep by herself last night, after all. It would be a little strange if the others saw them sleeping in the same room, the same bed.
"It's okay, Rei," he tried to reassure her, his expression softening as he tried his best to smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Whipping her head left and right, she keeps a tight lip. She doesn't really want to talk about it. Just thinking about it causes her stomach to turn. The sight of it all is burned into her retinas and even lingers in her mind.
She knows she can trust him.
Even though she can trust him, when it comes to matters that concern him," things grow more complicated for her. So when she speaks again, it's with a cracked, strained voice. "Promise me that you'll stay with me, no matter what I tell you."
Is that it? He nods, keeping himself composed. "You've already told me about that," he refers to the Rabbit Doubt games she's run. "and if it's just about a dream, it should be alright."
She smiles at him rather wistfully before she buries her head in his chest, tears falling before she decides to tell him the story. It's not the first time she's cried, but it's one of the few times that she's cried and actually meant it.
There's one thing that rings true as she tells her story: the true fear in her voice as she talks about dying; as if the fear about death is a new concept to her, and it is.
And when she's done, there's not much to say. He knows that she really, really doesn't want to hurt him. She wouldn't be shaking and crying so violently if she didn't. "It's okay, Rei," he says, bringing his hand around her back, tracing idle patterns to calm her down. "You don't want to do that anymore, right?"
She nods quietly, sniffling. She doesn't like to cry, nor does she like him to see her cry.
There's only a few words that he can say now.
"Hey, Rei. Maybe tonight, you can sleep in my room."
It's not a pleasant dream, but whenever it happens, she wakes up in a cold snap, crying. The tears would just stream down her face for minutes, sometimes hours, and nobody would be able to hear the wailing from the sound proof rooms. The sounds would be hers to hear alone before she stops and reminds herself that it was just a dream. A figment of her imagination that could not possibly be real in the slightest.
When she exits her room, it's after she's wiped the tears that have fallen. She can't possibly allow anybody to see her cry. Especially not for such a trivial reason.
The first person she sees when she's out is Hinata himself, wearing his usual plain white shirt and tie. She gently smiles at him as she raises her hand to wave at him. Her life on the island has definitely been different than back at home, and while both of their worlds are a mess in more ways than one, they both know that things will eventually be fine, just as long as they believe in the future.
"Good morning," her words are as gentle as the smile on her face as she greets him.
"Morning," is the greeting that she gets in return as he surprises her by ducking downwards and quickly kissing her forehead. It's a gesture that Rei should be used to at this point, and yet her violet eyes can't help but widen in what seems to be genunine surprise as her cheeks color a bright red. But before she can say anything, he follows up by asking, "Hey, since you're up already, did you want to... maybe, cook breakfast together?"
On the island, they are currently the only two people outside of the program who can actually cook something decent. Rei because of how long she's lived alone and Hinata because of his own skill; skill that honestly isn't natural for him, but it's something he can do. He's not exactly proud of that skill - it reminds him sometimes that he used to be Kamukura Izuru rather than Hinata Hajime - and it scares him right down to his very core. The possibility that he might turn back sends a shudder down his spine, no matter how many times he tries to reassure himself.
The idea of cooking together with him is tempting; they usually took shifts when it came to cooking, but it came to her as a surprise when he had asked that he asked her to work with him. She didn't mind, naturally, as her lips tugged into an even brighter, somewhat forced smile.
"Sure."
Of course, they were both up at a ridiculously early time, so they wouldn't run into any of his other classmates. . .probably. At the very least, they wanted to avoid Kuzuryuu at all costs. For various reasons. Placing her hand in his own, the two of them made their way towards the restaurant. Unlike the Neo World Program, which had their food automatically given to them, they actually had to do all of the cooking on their own, no exceptions.
It was fine, though.
During preparations, Rei found herself spacing out a little as she idly spun the whisk around the bowl almost absentmindedly, completely quiet and spacey before the sound of a familiar voice next to her causes her to jerk back in surprise, the bowl nearly turning over to spill its contents before Hinata catches it, heaving a sigh of relief.
"Rei...are you alright?" Concern filled his expression as he looked at her. "You reminded me of Nanami for a second there."
Rei's answer didn't come immediately, deep in thought as she replied with, "Ah, well--" But she couldn't finish her sentence, a frisson of disconnect cutting off her voice in sudden realization. She knew that if she denied it, she'd be a liar. And a liar was the thing that she didn't want to become. After all, liars were the ones she despised the most. Yet, strangely enough, she felt like telling a lie to him. It was a little white lie, but it was one nevertheless; if she did that, she wouldn't be able to properly forgive herself. "I will be."
"Are you sure?" Brows arched curiously from Hinata's end as he placed the bowl back on the table, placing his hand on her forehead to check and see if she was sick. But she seemed to be fine, with the exception that her face was turning a beet red and he knew exactly the reason why.
Biting on her lower lip anxiously, Rei knitted her brows, fingers gripping onto her skirt with anxiety, slightly shaky.
"Rei...?"
She didn't say anything.
"Rei?"
His words didn't reach her and the only thing that filled the small hypnotist's eyes was clear and utter despair.
"Oi, Rei-!"
He called out to her, grabbing onto her hands in an attempt to comfort her. But instead of doing that, she just snapped away from him, her hand jerking away from him as she snapped, "Don't touch me!"
And that's when Hinata's eyes widened in obvious fear, something that Rei immediately noticed as she flinched slightly, looking somewhat guilty as her gaze lowered.
"Sorry," she apologized, "I just had a bad dream last night and couldn't stop thinking about it."
She decided to sleep by herself last night, after all. It would be a little strange if the others saw them sleeping in the same room, the same bed.
"It's okay, Rei," he tried to reassure her, his expression softening as he tried his best to smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Whipping her head left and right, she keeps a tight lip. She doesn't really want to talk about it. Just thinking about it causes her stomach to turn. The sight of it all is burned into her retinas and even lingers in her mind.
She knows she can trust him.
Even though she can trust him, when it comes to matters that concern him," things grow more complicated for her. So when she speaks again, it's with a cracked, strained voice. "Promise me that you'll stay with me, no matter what I tell you."
Is that it? He nods, keeping himself composed. "You've already told me about that," he refers to the Rabbit Doubt games she's run. "and if it's just about a dream, it should be alright."
She smiles at him rather wistfully before she buries her head in his chest, tears falling before she decides to tell him the story. It's not the first time she's cried, but it's one of the few times that she's cried and actually meant it.
There's one thing that rings true as she tells her story: the true fear in her voice as she talks about dying; as if the fear about death is a new concept to her, and it is.
And when she's done, there's not much to say. He knows that she really, really doesn't want to hurt him. She wouldn't be shaking and crying so violently if she didn't. "It's okay, Rei," he says, bringing his hand around her back, tracing idle patterns to calm her down. "You don't want to do that anymore, right?"
She nods quietly, sniffling. She doesn't like to cry, nor does she like him to see her cry.
There's only a few words that he can say now.
"Hey, Rei. Maybe tonight, you can sleep in my room."