《 application 》

[peopledieifkilled]

PLAYER
Name: Len
Age: 20
Personal Journal: moes
E-mail: tsunderbolts@gmail.com
AIM/MSN/etc:

( AIM ) hightouches
( PLURK ) endlesseight

CHARACTER
Name: Shirou Emiya
Canon: Fate/stay night
Age: 17
Timeline: After fighting Kotomine in the Heaven’s Feel route, but before obtaining a new body from Illya.
If playing another character from the same canon, how will you deal with this?: N/A

Personality:

❝ But Emiya Shirou has to become a superhero who goes around saving people, just like Emiya Kiritsugu. ❞

At first glance, Shirou seems like an ordinary high school student. However, the further you delve into his past, the more you find out how abnormal Shirou really is.

As a young boy, Emiya Shirou was not Emiya Shirou. He was not born with the last name “Emiya”, instead, being born of a normal family. But then everything changed at the end of the fourth Holy Grail War - that’s when he stopped being the Shirou of that household, and subsequently, that’s exactly when he stopped being an “ordinary person”, at least beneath the surface. The truth is simple: on the day the Holy Grail unleashed the great fire, there was absolutely nothing left but corpses all around; there were only dead bodies of the people who had suffered all around him, and he could do nothing to help them, to save them from their deaths. After all, he was only an eight year old boy; someone who had become completely traumatized by the events that had occurred - to the point where he constantly sees it in his dreams and even has flashbacks of the event - and hated himself for it, if only because he was the only one there who was saved.

After the events of that day, he was sent to the hospital, where he then met his new father - whom Shirou affectionately refers to as “old man”, Emiya Kiritsugu. And that was the beginning of Emiya Shirou’s new life as a new and completely different person.

However, even though he was now Emiya Shirou, the son of Emiya Kiritsugu, a magus who Shirou looked up to and adored because he was special, Shirou had absolutely nothing inside of him. He was a completely empty individual who had absolutely nothing - he had already lost his parents once and could no longer remember anything past that day. And regardless of how many times Shirou himself attempted to forget about it, the trauma still stuck with him for a lifetime. But then, Kiritsugu told Shirou his dream, to become a hero of justice, and out of respect to his new father as well as redemption for his actions out of survivor’s guilt. This survivor’s guilt is actually a huge part of who Shirou is, mostly because his whole life revolves around it,

❝ That’s difficult. What you want is to save everyone. ❞

Shirou, in accordance to Kiritsugu’s will, decides that his duty, and the only reason for living is to become a “superhero”, or rather, a hero of justice. However, he doesn’t exactly know how to do that outside the fact that he doesn’t want to see someone die in front of him; the idea that people will die and he cannot do something to stop it disgusts him so much to an extent where he finds himself doing ridiculous things that may or may not get himself killed just for the sake of fulfilling that dream. After all, Emiya Shirou is an empty shell -- no matter how much he acts like a normal person in everyday life, acting carefree, enjoying his life, he only lives for one purpose. That purpose drives him forward and keeps him alive. He even says it himself that, “I don't think my wish is inferior. So I have to fight against the wishes of others, even if they are five hundred or a thousand years old.”

Basically, the reason why he gets along with most people is because he coherently believes that everyone is good. Basically, he tolerates people to the extent that he trusts easily. Of course there are exceptions to the rule -- most of them having to do with people who relate to him personality-wise or obviously conflict with him; the best two examples being Archer, who is someone who completely rejects Shirou’s initial dreams, and Kotomine, someone who is just as empty as he is. Even though he does get along with people, and this naivety does, at times, lead him into dumb situations - for example, the fact that he can’t tell that Sakura has feelings for him until she actually says it aloud, and the fact that he tries to do things such as cooking while he’s still sick - that doesn’t mean that he won’t do something if he sees someone doing a horrible thing. However, Shirou is somewhat of a coward, meaning that even though he will stop people if they’re doing bad things, he doesn’t necessarily want to kill them. Unless he’s really pissed.

Although Shirou isn’t exactly what you call an ordinary guy, he’s still a teenage boy. He tends to be stubborn when it comes to his own ideals, especially when it comes to his thoughts and feelings. So when it comes down to it, he usually won’t say no unless he’s brought down to a corner. He also shows that he can be swayed by girls just because of their appearance - he describes Saber as beautiful and enthralling when he meets her, and he outright states in his inner monologue that he had admired Tohsaka Rin, the most famous girl of his year at his school. He also has a tendency to be a little (read as: a lot) dense when it comes to other people's feelings, and he doesn't always understand other people's motives behind things. It's one of the reasons why he doesn't see through Rin's tsundere side along with many amounts of other people's feelings; he does see through them, sometimes, but he just doesn't see through things that well.

When it comes to Shirou's daily life, he tends to be the type of person who tries to be the man of the house - mostly because, well, he's living alone and he honestly is the only guy who is at his place, considering the fact that everyone who tends to visit are all girls. And as the man of the house, Shirou tends to take charge, being the one to do all of the chores, cooking - he's usually the back up for Sakura when she's not well, but he's pretty much housewife material to a T, to the point where he actually can criticize someone's cooking just by tasting it. He's just that good.

❝ Hmm, I don't know. I don't know if it was fun for me or not. I just wanted to be like my father. ❞

One of Shirou’s biggest problems is one that he doesn’t see for himself a good portion of the game is the fact that he doesn’t consider anything as fun. He just simply did things not because they made him happy, necessarily - putting into consideration the fact that he almost only smiles when others are happy, a fact that is outright stated by Shirou. He doesn’t care about his own body, as long as he’s able to help others. He doesn’t put himself before others, other people are just simply more important than he is; Shirou simply just doesn’t care about his well being -- he’ll say that he does care if he dies or not, but the fact that he jumps into things recklessly without thinking, for example, when he jumped to push Saber out of the way when Berserker attacked. He is ultimately the biggest selfless freak who will ultimately do anything it takes to help out the people he cares about the most. And that is both his biggest strength and weakness, along with his stubborn way of thinking.

Another thing about Shirou is that he cares a lot about his friends and the people he considers his “family”. Ever since Kiritsugu died, the only people Shirou has considered family are the ones who have visited his house constantly; meaning Fuji-nee - Fujimura Taiga, his homeroom teacher - and Sakura Matou, one of his close friends, who he soon ends up having a stronger relationship with later.

In Shirou’s life, there is only one person who managed to turn him into a different man, into the man that we don’t see in any of the other routes, one that we primarily see in Heaven’s Feel. And that person is Sakura.

❝ Yeah. It’s natural to protect the ones you love, right? Even I know that. ❞

In the middle of the game, he finds himself conflicted between two options: persisting on being a superhero, which means killing Sakura, someone who he considers a family member. Pursuing that role was what drove him all of his life, that made his hollow life into something more. However, after Kiritsugu died, it wasn’t that role that made him into an actual person. It was the people around him that did. And he knew that Sakura was in trouble -- she was going to be killed because she was a heretic; someone who could become completely crazy. But he didn’t want that. He wanted to stop deceiving himself into being a superhero just because of his past. What was his priority? To save the people he cares about the most or save people he barely even knows?

He decides to throw away his ideals, deciding to protect the person he cares about the most, even if it means having to make everyone his enemy. Shirou even outright says it himself when Sakura asks, saying, “You’re wrong. I just wanted to be with you. I need you, Sakura, and I couldn’t think about being separate from you. So I can’t give you to Tohsaka, even if she is your older sister.” He goes back on his superhero ideals, the selflessness that he once had and does a complete 180 -- he destroys everything for the sake of one person. His reasoning completely breaks and he decides that instead of pursuing the dream that kept him going. If he kept on lying to himself, he would end up having a mind of steel and become exactly like Emiya Kiritsugu, a magus killer who would no longer have any emotions and do whatever it takes for the sake of the many. But instead, he goes with his gut feeling, the only feeling that he says that he actually has.

So he chooses Sakura over the world. However, that is not the only person he chooses by deciding to go against Kiritsugu’s dream. He also chooses Illya, or rather, Illyasviel von Einsbern, the actual daughter of Kiritsugu whose mission is to kill both Kiritsugu and Shirou. At first, Shirou himself does have problems with Illya, considering that she used Berserker to almost kill him, but as time goes by and he learns more about the little girl, he finds himself liking her more like a big brother, and he really wants to be brotherly towards her because he knows about her past and the mere fact that she has nobody any longer. When he offers to Illya a place to stay after the war, he gives the reason that he likes her. There’s nothing more to be said about it as long as he likes her. And that’s also where he finally realizes that throughout all of those years, he has made one of the most vital mistakes.

❝ No, I can’t be Kiritsugu, and I can’t take his place. Kiritsugu and I are two different people there’s nothing I can give you as Kiritsugu. ❞

That he could never be like Kiritsugu. The only reason why he wanted to become a superhero to begin with was because of the many deaths he had witnessed during the last Holy Grail War; he wanted to prevent another incident like that from happening. He just simply wants everyone he loves to be happy. Yet, he is told that he can’t choose to save everyone, no matter how much he wants to. Which means that he cannot save Illya if he wants to save himself. He cannot save Illya if he wants to save Sakura. Because that in itself is a contradiction to his own actions.

Of course, even though his decision meant choosing Sakura over the world does not mean that Shirou can tolerate people dying, especially if it’s in front of him. And even more so when it’s something that he knows about and knows that he can stop. Yet, when he finds himself in contact with the shadow who continuously keeps on eating humans to the point where there’s no absolutely no corpses left -- it is things like this that frighten him the most, and the fact that the “shadow” that shows him the question that is the most difficult to answer -- will he still protect the person he loves, even if they become a bad person?

❝ I won't let there be any victims. You're the weak one, jumping to conclusions without even trying. ❞

The answer is already obvious: Shirou wouldn't let anybody hurt the person he loves, regardless of whether they become a bad person or not. Shirou doesn't like seeing people in pain, partially because it reminds him so much of that event ten years ago, and also because he wants to be able to help them if he can. Of course, he does say that if Sakura did become a bad person, he would be very angry at her, but still, he would care for her and protect her, even if it's from herself. He promises that he'll be her superhero, even though he finds himself wavering - uncertain of whether this feeling at first is love or not, though he does eventually come to the conclusion that it is love.

Even though the love is a cruel thing to him, he still persists on it anyway, deciding that since he was the one who chose this route to begin with, he has to follow through. He's the type of person who would never stab someone in the back - both literally and figuratively - and is always good on his word.

Background: Wiki + Heaven’s Feel

Abilities:


Magic — Shirou is able to use two types of magic: projection and strengthening. He can probably learn more with practice, but those two types of magic are the ones he uses the most. When it comes to magic, Shirou himself can’t do many things without Archer’s arm, though he has the potential to. Besides strengthening, he is able to see the composition of inanimate objects and figure out what’s wrong with them; basically, he’s able to see their weak points and expose them. He can potentially use all of the magic without Archer’s arm with practice and time if he did chop it off, but he would kill himself instantly by using power that he cannot handle.

Projection — Shirou is able to project any weapon that he sees and bring it into reality. However, he has a more powerful form of Projection, called Tracing, that he is able to use. The concept of Projection is based around the fact that Shirou creates weapons from his imagination, thinking that “this is a sword that cannot be broken”, but when the weapon breaks, his thoughts and the reality clash, making the weapon disappear. However, as Shirou generally only uses Projection with the help of Archer’s arm, it comes with a price. That price being that his body slowly deteriorates over time, which causes him to lose memories, emotions, and swords coming out of his body depending on how he’s injured. In regards of losing memories, if Shirou relaxes too much, he will forget even the most trivial of things, meaning that he has to keep his focus most of the time.

Shroud — Shirou’s left arm is literally Archer’s left arm, and because Archer is a Servant, or rather a Heroic Spirit and Shirou himself can’t exactly contain his power because it slowly kills him, the Shroud is there to restrain the power from leaking out and limits his ability to use magic, since he needs to take off the Shroud to use Projection properly. Taking out the Shroud basically allows Shirou to learn Archer’s magic and other trivial information about Archer, including memories and the like.

Healing — Shirou has two ways of healing. The first one is Avalon, which is the sheath that Saber originally had; it only activates, however, when Saber is connected to Shirou through a pact. Shirou’s natural healing ability pretty much turns the inner parts of his body into swords as it tries to repair his body. This doesn’t mean that he’s invulnerable, just a little more difficult to kill.

Reality Marble — It’s known as a forbidden magic that creates a world within a person’s mind and makes them real. It is where all of the projections originally come from, and even though Shirou has the knowledge of Archer’s Reality Marble, he’s not able to use his, since Archer and Shirou’s Reality Marbles are drastically different. He is never seen using his own Reality Marble in Heaven’s Feel, but he is capable of doing so.

Housewife — Shirou, being the man of the house and the one who has “technically” lived on his own for several years is able to do all the cooking and cleaning in the house. Mind you that he wears an apron while cooking.

Eyesight — Shirou has amazing eyesight that can see pretty far, even to the point where he can see who’s on top of a building without straining his eyesight too badly or seeing someone attacking from a rather far away distance.

Death Perception — Not really a supernatural ability, but Shirou is able to tell when someone’s dead at a glance and tell when he himself is going to die or not depending on the injuries.

Archery — Although Shirou has not been doing much of it as of late, he is rather skilled at it. Shirou has the ability to hit or miss his target with just the strength of his will - and perhaps a little magic - without too much problems.


First Person: Test drive meme.

Third Person:

Footsteps slowly exited the train without a halt. That is, until the sound of the wheels whirring on the tracks caused him to stop, immediately turning his head as he tried to comprehend what was going on.

"Where...?" The first word that escaped his lips as he watched the train quickly move away from him, completely dumbfounded at the fact that he didn't recall entering a train--

—...

Static entered his train of thought as he tried to bring any memories of going onto a train to the surface, but to no avail. He couldn't recall anything at all. Had he relaxed too much that he couldn't remember why he was on that train, or why he was here? And just as those questions were raised, he found himself in agony, pain reaching from the tips of his toes to the top of his head, forcing himself to shake it off. But with that pain, the memory of the fight came flashing back as if it was just moments ago.

The fight against Kotomine, which he had triumphed over. Watching in those last moments. He couldn't remember her name at first when he recalled it. She was just-- a girl with white silver hair who he could not longer remember. But she was important to him. She was important to Emiya Shirou. It pained him to think about it, but he remembered exactly what she had told him, he knew it would come to this.


"That's not possible. I can't live long, and you can't live long either. So it's not possible to live together."


His vision blurred as those thoughts permeated his brain, almost as if engulfing his sight, causing his hands to close into tight fists. He was alive. He was alive because he wanted to live, and yet, he couldn't recall the girl's name.


"--Goodbye.
We aren't related by blood.
But I'm glad we were siblings."


No. She didn't. She couldn't have-- He found himself broken, his eyes completely empty as he tried to scream out her name, the name of the girl who he cared for like an actual younger sister. But the words were caught in his throat, and it couldn't come out. He didn't know why. Was it because he was scared that if he said it, he would forget again? Or had he already forgotten?

His gaze wavered, shifting to his left side, thinking that she had done what he didn't want her to do.

But he knew. If he wanted to live on, he would have to sacrifice her. But he didn't want that. He didn't want that. If anything, all he wanted was--

Stop.

His eyes stopped the further he looked to the left, completely frozen in place.

"You said that I would live on, so why..." Archer's arm was still in place. It was still there. He could still die at any moment. His body still had the potential to be made of swords.

It no longer mattered where he was. It no longer mattered why he was here, or even the fact that he was still alive. Sakura wasn't here. He had promised to see the cherry blossoms with her. But he was still in this state. had died for nothing, and he couldn't stop her. Why didn't he stop her? He should have been able to.

And he hated himself for it. He could feel the hot tears welling up in his eyes, knowing that if they were to start now, they wouldn't stop for a long time.

That didn't matter.

What mattered, and what he regretted the most was--

"Illya...!"

--the fact that he was unable to recall the dead little girl's name until now.