yamaboshi | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ Sakura Matou was always a tainted woman. But she couldn't help but fall in love in spite of how tainted she was, and it showed rather easily in so many ways -- how she showed sweet affection by cooking bentos, to how she would always watch from afar, almost a bystander in his life. Not to mention that he was her shield.

But then he left.

Up and disappeared.

That gave them the chance to corrupt her more, to turn her into what she was today. At first it was normal, like always... but now, it was something completely different; she practically craved for blood. She couldn't help it, though. That's how they made her into what was essentially a vampire.

Of course, she had qualities that didn't befit your ordinary folktale vampire. Her violet hair and eyes - which were forced upon her to begin with turned white and red. She could walk freely in the light of the day without any issues. But her abilities were strengthened and she became more powerful than she ever was before. She's no longer the weak Sakura that she used to be, completely defenseless that she couldn't even do anything unless they told her to.

However, she desired the blood of men. Sometimes she even craved more than that. If she didn't get what her body needed when her body's internal clock's time was up, she would go completely mad. But she drank in that madness and thrived on it. Of course, there were times when she wanted it to stop. When she wanted to just become normal again for the person that she loved... but at the same time, she was a monster. He could never love her like this.

She was certain of it.

Nevertheless, there's a house on top of a hill that's surrounded by a gate that seems to be almost practically abandoned. But if it was really abandoned, why is there a light turned on at the highest window? How peculiar. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ That voice.

The familiarity of it all is enough for her to want to go and run to hi-- but she can't. She can't let him see her as she is now. She is too disgusting and full of filth now than she ever was back in high school. While he might have thought that her soul was pure... that wasn't true; at least, not to her, anyway.

Maybe... just maybe, she can scare him off. This abandoned building used to be her home before everything happened. Now she was the only one left. ]

What are you doing here?

[ Her words are forceful and full of bubbling frustration and anger. While she cares about him a lot, it's because she cares about him that she has to push him away. She's a monster after all.

Of course, she keeps herself hidden in the shadows as she manages to say those words out loud. It's probably strange to hear that sort of tone in Sakura's voice; after all, she's not the type of person to be loud, given that she's rather soft spoken, quiet. Not to mention that anger is rather unbefitting of her, too. ]

[The voice, seems...strange.

Was this the same girl? What...What happened to her?

His heart almost leaps from his chest and is tempted to charge in and just understand why is she like this.

Had...Had he hurt her with all these years of being absent?]

Sa...Sakura? Saru?

[He said in both affection and confusion, even trying to use one of the many names he never could decide to affectionately call her. If he had hurt her....he couldn't forgive himself for it. She was the sweetest girl he ever met and the only one who ever really captured his heart. He couldn't...no WOULDN'T give up.]

Don't call me that.

[ Maybe she might have tolerated it before, when she was naive and young, but now as she was... she could do anything. In fact, she could take control of the situation so much easier than she could before.

Had he hurt her?

Yes, of course he did. He didn't understand a single thing about her, really -- and in the end, she was just using him because of his kindness. Maybe that love was just superficial. And yet, she's being nice enough so that she doesn't do something that he'll definitely abhor her for. ]

Did you think that nickname was cute? Maybe funny? I'm sure you did, thinking rather naively without knowing. Well, it's okay... because I'll tell you, alright? In Japanese, the word 'saru' can be read as 'monkey'. So you're saying that I'm just a monkey to you? Calling me by my actual name is a lot nicer. Sakura. The cherry blossoms. But I bet you didn't know that, either.

[He looks away for a moment.

Of course he didn't know, she never said anything. He wanted to get closer, but she never let him. God why did he HAVE to go all those years ago.

He takes a deep breath, please...please forgive me he mutters under his breath]

I'm sorry...I never knew that. I should have asked...I didn't mean to hurt you. Your not a monkey to me, far from it.

[He pauses for a moment]

I...I wanted to just call you something cute...something just for the two of us.

But I never really knew if you ever liked any of them.

I'm sorry that I never...

[He stops and takes a deep breath]

That I never outright said it...

But I loved you...and I still do.

Leaving here was my biggest regret, 2nd to never getting close to you.

[ Maybe she could possibly accept his apology, but then he says that and it's just so easy to just simply lash out, to counter the words that he's throwing at her. She isn't sure if it's to make herself feel better or push him away, but it's definitely satisfying to say. ]

That's right. You never knew anything to begin with. Not about me, or anything else. Besides, you can't love someone you truly never knew, right? Superficial love like that doesn't exist. Or rather... perhaps you were simply in love with the idea of love?

What did you even like about me, anyway?

[He was at a loss for words for sometime. He closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, digging into his memories of the little details he noticed...the feelings he had. No that he still had for her, he felt the under lying pain of it all and it hurt him to hear not just her anger, but that he was why she was even suffering

He speaks with a mixture of sorrow and love toward her]

I wish I could give you a solid concrete list of everything I love about you.

Every time we would talk, I just felt something from you. Some pure, honest and kind. Even now...your just...so angry. But that isn't WHO you are.

Your hurt...you've been hurt...and I have done NOTHING.

I thought my feelings were superficial when I left...but eventually I noticed that I was walking around with a piece of my heart missing. And when I thought that another woman could POSSIBLY have filled that void, I never felt that same...same essence as I do with you.

And my heart would never accept another to even come close. I found myself looking over my shoulder, hoping to see you blush and tuck behind someone hoping that I didn't see you.

Or you sneaking up on me when you felt a little playful.

Just that pureness of heart that I feel whenever you'd let me get close.

Pure? Honest? Kind?

[ She can't help but laugh at those words that he manages to say, almost as if mocking him. ]

Ahaha... you must be joking. I was never pure to begin with. You were just too naive to see it. You just saw what you wanted to see. That's all.

I'm serious!

[He says firmly]

I WISH, it was just about me be naive...

because this wouldn't hurt so much, seeing you so angry and feeling something deeper is hurting you.

[ Maybe... she should just let go. The laughter doesn't die down at all in the slightest, and even though his words might be firm, there's still something cruel that has settled there. ]

Then, do you want to see? Just how different I am now?

[Her laughter does hurt him. It doesn't settle well with him, for some reason there is still a feeling, that something inside is screaming because of so much silence.

If only it was just a high school crush, this would be easier.

Even if she is hurt...she has to be there deep down.]

Yes, let me see you.

[he smiles very gently and speaks sweetly]

You still make Bento like no one else can?

Very well. I suppose I'll permit it this once.

[ At the top of the staircase, she appears. It's difficult to see her, given that she's dressed in all black, but it's her. The corruption runs across her face and her own shadow seems to expand with each barefooted step she makes.

There's something... terrifying about her, like there's something practically screaming enmity from her whole entire body. Her hair is white, her eyes dyed a dark, blood red. Her appearance alone is enough to make someone's blood run cold.

But if there's one thing that's the same about her, it's the ribbon she's always worn. ]

[He sees her, and the enmity that screeches from her, to him. Is evidence of inner pain. Then he smiles when he sees the ribbon.

He walks closer to her, despite how his body wants to run, he sees the little ribbon as a sign of his love still being in there. And pushes himself to get closer, regardless of how his body screams to run]

My...My darlin...did I hurt you this much?

[He says full of love]

Don't call me that.

[ The words are bitter and dark-- and unfortunately for him, while the ribbon is something that she's worn all this time, it wasn't something from him in the slightest bit. It's a sentimental item that she's had even before she met him.

Something that means more to her than he could ever guess. ]

You don't understand anything. You knew nothing about me. Nothing.

[He closes his eyes and looks down sadly. She can't be completely gone, she can still heal. That ribbon MEANS something, so she can feel something other then hate]

Your right...and I'm sorry...

I just noticed things, felt things off you. And they were more then skin deep.

I see someone that just so hurt...and is screaming with so much rage just so the world can hear her for once.

And I'm soo...soo sorry...that I didn't get it, and that it's hurt you this much.

So? That's it? You're just going to apologize and think that I'll just simply forgive you? It isn't that simple.

[He shakes his head, he speaks sadly, but still filled with nothing but love toward her]

No. I don't expect you to forgive me, I loved you and I should have tried harder to reach you.

There is nothing I can do about that...But I still love you, so I want to carry your burden with you.

If you would let me...for once, love you the way I should have.

Edited 2018-08-21 23:22 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only