Hearts in their eyes, chocolate in their hands... you've guessed it! It's that time of the year again, where everything goes to hell and shipping is at its high. Or something like that. Basically, this is an open Valentine's Day post for all of your shipping needs with Len.
How does this work, exactly? Easy! Just pick a character from my muselist and post a top level comment calling them out. I'm game for anything ship-wise, canon, cross-canon, you name it. I'll even work with CRAU. ♥ And then we go "love love" and keep on going.
And how the hell would I be able to do that? [ He knew that there were files in there about all of them, but the clues that Komaeda left trying to hint him towards the truth were Bad. ]
We knew you found something, but without any hints, we couldn't possibly have guessed that we were the former Remnants of Despair!
[ It was a plot twist that none of them would have thought of if the AI Enoshima didn't shove it to them, as if it were a gift horse. ]
Then are you going to tell me why you hate it or are you just going to beat around the bush?
[He should get up and walk out. Leave Hinata utterly confused. They could go back to arguing and spitting insults because that's easier. Even facing away from him like this just means when he's rejected he won't see the initial reaction even if he's stuck with this for the rest of his life.
He reaches out and rips out his own hair in stress and dimly aware his therapist is going to be angry with him. But the stress feels a little easier to handle with pain. Yet this time all it does is really make it all worse as he all but shouts.] Because one sided love is terrible and a damn sight worse when you know who they wanted tied to instead of you!
[The self loathing in his words is cutting like a blade, only it's aimed at himself and clearly so.] Especially when you didn't know how you felt until a few months ago because all they used to do is confuse you! Are you pleased now?!
I'm stupidly in love with you and I think I have been for a long time! I imagine reasonable conversations between us and even in dreams they end in us fighting all the time! [He would have laughed before but the Nagito cleared of diseases just lapses into pained and sullen silence. Here it comes. That rejection he expected.]
[ Instead of the rejection that he may expect, all Hinata himself can do is stare with wide eyes, completely appalled. His jaw drops and he can't help but stare with a mixture of bewilderment and surprise; he can't believe the words that are coming out of Komaeda's mouth at all and he has to physically pinch himself to make sure he isn't dreaming.
He's not.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tries to bring himself back to reality instead of spacing out. It's hard, and he just can't handle it well. It isn't going to end well.
But- ]
What... do you mean? [ Ah, yes. This is where his naivety shows in spades. ] I don't get it, Komaeda. I want to understand, so-
[ There's only one word he manages, his voice cracking. ]
-why? [ It's a loaded question, one that means more than it seems at first glance. Why does he like him? Why didn't he tell him? Why does he think he knows who the man known as Hinata Hajime wanted to be tied with? ]
What. [It's difficult to figure out exactly what to say when he's utterly speechless. The rejection hasn't happened, throwing him off balance and he has to reassess the situation. Komaeda finally looks back at him, with his eyebrows disappearing into his hair.
One look at Hinata's face answers a lot of questions all at once while asking a thousand more. He briefly considers smothering himself with one of the pillows. It's easier than trusting anyone. Especially this one.
Their deadly dance of words and steps as they hurt each other and draw apart to tend to their wounds is the easier course and yet.
...he's tired of that. With a sigh and hooded eyes he lays back on the bed, his eyes never leaving Hinata's.] I get it now.
You're one of those sort of people. You're completely blind to how you affect the world around you just by your very presence. I admit at first you were just a pretty person but once you started to come into your own... Yep, when there was no choice but to step past fear and self confidence issues. That's when you caught my eye. It didn't matter to me why you approached me and continued to.
You did it. Even when you shed away from things that were upsetting. You stood tall and proud, when you were needed. If people were followed by spotlights, you'd be one of them. You never needed an aura. All one has to do is listen to you to be swept up in your pace. And all you ever needed was a chance to show what you're made of.
[He turns away, his arms still wrapped around himself, but hiding his face.] Of course, as you'd guess! I didn't consciously figure out all of that until we found out our tie. I knew it! But I guess you could say, a dying man is somewhat blind. I'm not now so I have too much time on my hands to think.
It's an observation. This is the effect you have on everyone, Hinata. If you think I'm lying about your looks ask the others. It was so confusing to find all of you had fallen to despair. But at the time, I was fixated on the idea that talent and hopes were tied together.
Mm, my therapist seems to think that was a distortion that let me 'mostly' operate as well adjusted. [Mostly being relative. He could think all the sour thoughts he wants about it but months of therapy at least let him come to a few conclusions.]
You couldn't have known what I was thinking other than those thoughts I let you see. We're both private people. [He swallows as he rolls back onto his side facing Hinata and stops at the flustered look on the other's face. It matches his own uncomfortable flush. It makes him feel a lot more exposed than baring his heart already is.] I asked what side you were sleeping on so you didn't accidentally touch my mark in your sleep. It's awkward enough as it is.
I stopped worrying about it when we started arguing. [By that point it had ceased being a concern. Komaeda turns his head to the side as he rakes his fingers through his hair.] I'm tired, Hinata. Neither of us need to go anywhere...I don't mind sharing a bed with you.
[It had been the possible loss of control at the hands of someone who never meant to see that side of him that had made things so terrible to consider. Komaeda adds quietly.] But, I'd understand if you don't want to.
[He visibly seems to consider the question for a moment. Then he reaches out to gently tug Hinata down onto the bed.] No. But I don't know what else to do. If this is going to work at all, we have to take risks.
Instead of keeping each other at arm's length and being miserable until we die!
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no subject
We knew you found something, but without any hints, we couldn't possibly have guessed that we were the former Remnants of Despair!
[ It was a plot twist that none of them would have thought of if the AI Enoshima didn't shove it to them, as if it were a gift horse. ]
Then are you going to tell me why you hate it or are you just going to beat around the bush?
no subject
He reaches out and rips out his own hair in stress and dimly aware his therapist is going to be angry with him. But the stress feels a little easier to handle with pain. Yet this time all it does is really make it all worse as he all but shouts.] Because one sided love is terrible and a damn sight worse when you know who they wanted tied to instead of you!
[The self loathing in his words is cutting like a blade, only it's aimed at himself and clearly so.] Especially when you didn't know how you felt until a few months ago because all they used to do is confuse you! Are you pleased now?!
I'm stupidly in love with you and I think I have been for a long time! I imagine reasonable conversations between us and even in dreams they end in us fighting all the time! [He would have laughed before but the Nagito cleared of diseases just lapses into pained and sullen silence. Here it comes. That rejection he expected.]
no subject
He's not.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tries to bring himself back to reality instead of spacing out. It's hard, and he just can't handle it well. It isn't going to end well.
But- ]
What... do you mean? [ Ah, yes. This is where his naivety shows in spades. ] I don't get it, Komaeda. I want to understand, so-
[ There's only one word he manages, his voice cracking. ]
-why? [ It's a loaded question, one that means more than it seems at first glance. Why does he like him? Why didn't he tell him? Why does he think he knows who the man known as Hinata Hajime wanted to be tied with? ]
no subject
One look at Hinata's face answers a lot of questions all at once while asking a thousand more. He briefly considers smothering himself with one of the pillows. It's easier than trusting anyone. Especially this one.
Their deadly dance of words and steps as they hurt each other and draw apart to tend to their wounds is the easier course and yet.
...he's tired of that. With a sigh and hooded eyes he lays back on the bed, his eyes never leaving Hinata's.] I get it now.
You're one of those sort of people. You're completely blind to how you affect the world around you just by your very presence. I admit at first you were just a pretty person but once you started to come into your own... Yep, when there was no choice but to step past fear and self confidence issues. That's when you caught my eye. It didn't matter to me why you approached me and continued to.
You did it. Even when you shed away from things that were upsetting. You stood tall and proud, when you were needed. If people were followed by spotlights, you'd be one of them. You never needed an aura. All one has to do is listen to you to be swept up in your pace. And all you ever needed was a chance to show what you're made of.
[He turns away, his arms still wrapped around himself, but hiding his face.] Of course, as you'd guess! I didn't consciously figure out all of that until we found out our tie. I knew it! But I guess you could say, a dying man is somewhat blind. I'm not now so I have too much time on my hands to think.
no subject
...but I'm not even pretty, you idiot. [ MUMBLE MUMBLE GRUMBLE ] I didn't know you thought so highly of me, though, Komaeda. I'm sorry.
no subject
Mm, my therapist seems to think that was a distortion that let me 'mostly' operate as well adjusted. [Mostly being relative. He could think all the sour thoughts he wants about it but months of therapy at least let him come to a few conclusions.]
You couldn't have known what I was thinking other than those thoughts I let you see. We're both private people. [He swallows as he rolls back onto his side facing Hinata and stops at the flustered look on the other's face. It matches his own uncomfortable flush. It makes him feel a lot more exposed than baring his heart already is.] I asked what side you were sleeping on so you didn't accidentally touch my mark in your sleep. It's awkward enough as it is.
no subject
[ He doesn't say anything. Or rather, perhaps he's just thinking of what to say. ]
If you're worried about that, we can sleep on different beds, I really don't mind. [ Hinata sounds tired rather than bitter this time. ]
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[It had been the possible loss of control at the hands of someone who never meant to see that side of him that had made things so terrible to consider. Komaeda adds quietly.] But, I'd understand if you don't want to.
no subject
[ He doesn't know if he wants to or not. That's what makes this more complicated than it should be, to him. ]
Are you really sure it's okay?
no subject
Instead of keeping each other at arm's length and being miserable until we die!