( closed )

[dereban]

[ It had been a complete accident.

The fact that she was now at his bedside just waiting for him to wake up after getting hit hard in the head was definitely not a part of today's plans for her, but he seemed to be relatively fine otherwise.

So now all she could do, really, was wait. ]

Comments

[spacialeyes]

[The kami catches himself and gasps, literally covering his mouth like that's going to save him from what he blurted.]

... Um. My apologies. He's fallen asleep again, mm.

[dereban]

[...]

Don't lie to me.

You're the one who called me 'Himeko', then.

[spacialeyes]

... perhaps?

[his denial is weak.]

[dereban]

Hmmm... is that so? Perhaps I should just make food just for myself tonight.

[spacialeyes]

Must we really make this more awkward than it already is?

[dereban]

Then admit that it was you who called me by my name.

[spacialeyes]

Fine. It was me. I apologize.

[dereban]

Was it just instinctual...? Or do you actually want to call me by my name?

[spacialeyes]

The answer to that question is irrelevant. I won't do it again.

[dereban]

It's not irrelevant. I want to know.

[spacialeyes]

[He sighs.]

While it would align with the feelings that dominant my consciousness, I am unsure which of these emotions are appropriate for my current state.

[dereban]

Just go with your gut. You don't have to hold your emotions back if you're feeling them.

[spacialeyes]

That sounds dangerous- [He pauses, then sighs again in defeat,] Himeko. You never struck me as the risk taking type.

[dereban]

I'm not, usually.

[ She also sighs, sagging her shoulders a little. ]

But... I also don't want to force someone to have to act a certain way and smother their emotions. I already decided to accept all parts of Yuuto when I got into this relationship. You may not be him entirely, sure, yet... you're still a part of him. Besides, if you try anything, I'll kick your ass.

[ ... ]

For now, though. I'll at least let you call me 'Himeko'.

[spacialeyes]

I appreciate your understanding. I will do what I can to resolve these feelings in a convenient manner. [He sighs,] What a troublesome side effect of this arrangement.

[dereban]

Do you dislike it that much?

[spacialeyes]

I do not dislike it, so much as... It's a lonely feeling?

[dereban]

I have a good guess, but I'll ask for you to elaborate.

[spacialeyes]

As my true self, I am an omnipotent being. I cannot interact with any time or place- or person,- without losing that omnipotence. It did not bother me before, when I knew no love. But now, I will always know what I lack.

[He sighs again, adding in a softer voice,] Sometimes I wonder if offering to take my soul as a son was all part of a scheme on Kuroneko Satou's part. Her domain controls me now, just as it does Giratou. We've both fallen considerably.

[dereban]

...

[ For a considerable moment, Inaba is quiet. But then, she takes those few steps closer and just - silently, without saying anything at first, wraps her arms around him.

When she speaks up again, it's in a softer tone. ]

Using the word 'scheme' is putting it harshly...

[spacialeyes]

[He flinches, but only slightly. There’s a difference between remembering how it felt to be held and experiencing it in the moment. He slowly relaxes.]

I never felt ‘loneliness’ before. So in either case, is this even an improvement? It feels cruel.

[dereban]

I'm sorry.

[ Her hold on him tightens, part of it completely selfish on her part. ]

...then, even if it's just for a short time - let me ease that loneliness. Whatever you want to do... we can do.

[spacialeyes]

[The kami in human form laughs softly. He almost holds her back, but catches himself.]

You are far too kind to lonely people, Himeko. In a way, it is sad… You must have been infinitely lonely too.

[dereban]

Ah-

[ She lets go of him rubbing her neck awkwardly. ]

Well. I'm... fine, now.

[ That's a lie, but it's fine. ]

[spacialeyes]

I do not believe you, but I will not push the matter if you're uncomfortable.

[He lifts a hand to at least gently ruffle her hair.]

Learning to be lonely is hard to unlearn.