( closed ) always expect the unexpected

[dereban]

[ This was not as planned. Definitely not as planned. That much was evident — especially since she had not been planning on summoning an actual person. All she did, really, was read a rumor on the 2ch boards (she knew that she shouldn't have trusted it, but her curiosity got the better of her) that she would be able to summon up her courage to confess and that it would have an immediate effect. And that effect was a definite yes from the person she liked. (Whose name was Emiya Shirou, someone who went to the same school as she did and was in the same year, but, well, didn't know her very well since they weren't in the same class.)

Inaba was not good with her feelings at all, especially not when it came to feelings of love.

She closed herself up, and kept to herself most of the time. Which was why she decided to give it a try, regardless of the fact that it probably wouldn't work. It was a simple task: all she had to do was draw a magic circle around her room and place her fingers between her legs, curiously, as she let out a heated sigh-- but then she saw the glow and then someone appeared. In her room.

While she was barely wearing anything (she was just in her lingerie, a lace black bra and underwear), staring at the intruder with dead eyes.

This was definitely not as planned.

And now she's been completely humiliated that she was seen masturbating by some... some stranger. ]

Comments

[swordboning]

[At least he didn't laugh, make any derogatory statements or stare. Even if he was the one who had just shown up out of the ether against his will. After one glance, he jumped to a single obvious conclusion. Someone was delving into something they knew nothing about and he really should just kill her and be done with it. This kind of thing was dangerous.

But something was holding him back. A niggling memory, like this person was somewhat familiar to him. He couldn't place it but that's because his memories were already shoddy thanks to his lifelong duty.

So what he gave in return was just a shrug and a sigh. Sure, he said nothing bad about her but he certainly sounded like he was judging.]

[dereban]

[ Swallowing hard, she finds herself covering herself up with her blanket out of sheer embarrassment, cheeks flaring up as she pinched herself hard. Okay, it's not a dream, but how—?

Closing one eye, she peered at him to double check that he was still there.

He was. ]

Who are you? [ There's an implied "And where did you come from?" in that question, regardless of the fact that she sounds all too skeptical of this happening to begin with. ]

[swordboning]

You're asking me? Despite being the one who brought me here?

[He was avoiding the question for the time being. Mostly because he wanted to focus more on why her face was annoyingly familiar. It was ridiculous, sure, but he was still stuck here with her.

Which meant that he took a seat on a chair and looked around the room. Yep, this was definitely intentional.]

This doesn't even look like an accident either.

[dereban]

It's not like I planned to summon you!

[ A frustrated retort as she knitted her brow together, grabbing the shirt on her bed as she quickly put it on, not wanting to humiliate herself any further. ]

I was just following the instructions online... [ There's a a pause for the shortest of seconds before- ] Wait. If I summoned you, that means you're my familiar, right?

[ Priorities. ]

[swordboning]

Haven't your parents every told you that the internet is a dangerous place?

[Having those kinds of instructions out there was reckless, to be sure. An actual surprise no magi had ever cracked down on that.]

In the basest of terms, yes. I'm your familiar but you have to give me a steady supply of magical energy if you want to actually keep me around.

[Archer felt he was going to have to start from the beginning. Because this girl certainly wasn't a magic caster of any sorts. No, he was sure the next question was going to be on how she was supposed to do that.]

[dereban]

No. But the one who's dangerous on the internet is me.

[ Whether or not she's being serious is yet to be seen. Considering that she's being deadpan about it. ]

And how exactly am I supposed to do that? I'm not a magician. Or a witch. [ He still hasn't answered the first question, but she'll get back on that later. ]

[swordboning]

I'm sure posting nude videos online is dangerous, yes.

[He totally went there. They day she regrets having a sassy-pants familiar is now.]

Ironically, the answered is tied to what you just did but the full answer, you won't like. So we'll leave it at that for the time being.

[dereban]

I wasn't-

[ She lets out a frustrated groan as she grips her blanket towards herself, listening to him completely before her face turns pale at his answer.

...Oh. ]

A-Anyway, you didn't tell me who the hell you are! [ Going back to the beginning. ]

[swordboning]

Let's make it easy and have you call me Archer.

[She didn't ask for his real name, to be certain. Not that he would have willingly shared that information. That was a shred of memory that definitely remained.]

And you?

[dereban]

... Inaba. [ She hesitates a bit, biting on her lower lip. ] Inaba Himeko.

[ Her name comes off bitterly off of the tip of her tongue as she adjusts herself on the bed, straightening herself out. ]

So if you're called Archer, that means you can do archery, right?

[swordboning]

It's a pleasure.

[No sense in not being polite. But he keeps an eye on her nonetheless. Despite having good reasons for being angry at the moment, it's a little touch and go.]

With a title like that, I would hope so. If not, it'd be pretty disappointing.

[dereban]

[ She doesn't say anything. Not at first. He's being too casual about the situation; is he used to this? With a low growl of frustration that barely manages to reach the surface as fingers crumple into the blanket before retorting at him with: ]

Well, you're just going to have to show me, then. [ Inaba wants to see. ]

[swordboning]

And watch your room get ruined?

[Despite his words and raised eyebrows, his bow appeared in his hands. And then an arrow.

Which was unfortunately fired into the wall, making a bit of a mess.

And leaving Archer trading glares with his bow and Inaba. No, it didn't look like he really had a choice and was definitely trying to figure that out.]

[dereban]

...

[ She frowns a bit, looking rather unhappy and displeased. ]

You didn't have to do that here! [ Now look at who has to clean it up. Her. ]

[swordboning]

[He shakes his head, experiencing an Archer level of frustration. His bow goes away, not willing to make that mistake again. Though he'd love to coach her on her mistake.]

If you didn't want it to happen, you shouldn't have ordered it.

[As if she'll have to clean it up when she has a literal housemaid as a familiar though.]

[dereban]

Wha—

[ She's baffled about that, but soon realizes her mistake. She didn't think that the order would take place immediately. No, she thought he wouldn't listen to her. ]

Don't be stupid. [ Actually, that goes to raise a question.. ] You're not actually Cupid, are you?

[ INABA... ]

[swordboning]

Do I look like I have hearts all over me?

[He gets back up to his feet, mostly to start on the mess. No, he's not one to at least leave it lingering. His maid senses would be tingling too long.]

If you believe that, look in a mirror if you want to find idiocy.

[dereban]

Well, you do have a bow and arrow. [ Maybe the myths about him are wrong. ]

And I'm not an idiot. I just was curious about what your real name is.

[ Well, she's surprised that he's actually cleaning up, though. It actually makes her pleased, since she likes having a clean room... ]

Just make sure not to open the closet door if you're cleaning up.

[swordboning]

[That wasn't exactly a command or request to say his name so his mouth thankfully stays shut. Even if the answer would probably please Inaba somehow.]

My name isn't a concern.

[He's piling up the stuff to the side. But he'll probably need a broom and a trash bag for reals.]

And why not open the door? If I'm going to clean a place, it needs to be thorough.

[dereban]

I can clean up my closet myself, thank you very much.

[ ... ] What, do you hate your name that much?

[swordboning]

[He has the patience to find out one day. Somehow. Not that he wants to be a pervert about it but being this defensive is worth finding out why.]

Does it matter that much?

[dereban]

It matters enough if I want to keep you around or not. You're going to disappear without my help, right?

[ She shrugs her shoulders, not really caring. ]

[swordboning]

Is this a type of blackmail?

[Curious.]

[dereban]

Maybe it is.

[swordboning]

[Archer shrugs. Unless expressly ordered, he'll definitely push it to the limit. He's not the type to bow to authority from someone who can't even use magic.]

Go get a broom and a garbage bag.